Communication & Mutual Problem Solving

Its crazy to think 51% of our communication are our non verbal cues. Only 14 % our are words. They way we communicate is crucial especailly with the advancement of technology. We are finding it a lot easier to communicate with people without actually being in the same room as them. This has caused a negative affect on our society because we don't take the time to actually say what we feel. Another thing I found interesting about our discussion is the way the brain reacts to thoughts. I think our thoughts are a lot powerful than we might realize. Because of this we often don't know what to say in certain situations. Thinking about my own life I've always been a problem solver. Whenever there was an argument in my family I would always be the one who brought back the peace. My family is a very talkative family so we've never had the issue of not communicating. On the other hand there are times when I get an arguments with my parents and I just decide to stop talking to them. I hope that with the things I've learned about this unit I will be able to apply it to my daily life.

The Family Under Stress

One of the things I thought was interesting in the class discussion was the ABC-X concept. The way we react to a certain experience within the family has a lot to do with how we react to the situation. For example, the letter A represented the actual event, before we evaluate the situation that is occurring we have to recognize what it is. Next we have B which represents behavioral responses. Behavioral responses are the specific things each of the family members do when a crisis happens. While some families may choose to come together and talk about things, others might ignore each other and handle it on their own. Lastly the C represents cognition. I think this is the most important factor when dealing with a crisis because what you think emotionally can totally change the situation. Thinking about to my family and the way we've handled family crisis's I can really see how these factors made the experience the way it did. For my family it has always been a strength builder because we've learned from our mistakes and our struggles. I don't imagine my family the way they are now without without thinking of the experiences we've had to go through.

Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

I can remember in almost every Young Women lesson we had on chastity, revolved around the lines "Just don't do it". For someone who has never been talked about sacredness of sexual intimacy this may cause some confussion. No one really talks about sexual intamcy after marriage, therefore I think this lesson opened up a lot of doors that many of us probably have not talked about. My parents always were open with me so I never considered this an awkward topic. I took psychology classes in high school so most of the things discussed in class were not new to me. On the other hand, it was interesting to see the gospel intake. It was amazing taking such a intimate subject and still keeping it sacred. When I have my own family I went to be open with my children as well. I don't want them hearing things at school without hearing what I have to say about it first. I think its important that kids hear it from their parents because then it became a topic that isn't awkward but just part of life.

Transitions in Marriage

Last week we talked about the transitions into marriage. Something that stuck out to me during the class discussions was the idea of the weeding vs. the marriage. I guess I never really thought about how the wedding could have such a profound affect on a marriage. Although this is not to say that if you don't have the biggest wedding you will not have a good marriage, but the planing of the wedding does tell a lot about the other person. Decision making is crucial. I think you can tell a lot about the person and the couple in the way the plan their wedding. When I think of my parents and what they told me about their wedding it totally makes sense. When they first got married (and say first because it wasn't in the temple..dad wasn't a member a the time. We eventually all got sealed in the temple years after. ANYWHO) they had your tradtional wedding ceremony, following a reception. They were a little older 25, 28 and they knew in order to have their wedding they had to pay it for themselves. My grandma was a widow by then and had 7 other children, 3 daughters, so paying for her wedding wasn't really a option. My parents told me they paid everything for their wedding. I can see this reflecting a lot with their marriage now, because they aren't very spontaneous people. Everything always has it time and its place and since I can remember it has always been that way. Its funny to see that connection because I always wondered if its something that sort of clicked when they got married.