Divorce & Remarriage

One of the topics that stuck out to me in the class discussions is the topic of step families. I think the issues that come from the joining of two family was interesting to observe because it takes a lot of effort to make it work. I look up to the ones who are able to create a healthy relationships within the new family. I think one of the biggest stuggles in a joined family is trying to discipline the children from both sides. Its hard to impanelment rules when it may be something the child is not used to following. This is especially apparent when the children are older because there may have to be more discipline for that child. Nevertheless I think step parents can still be successful. It all depends on the person and how they go about the special circumstance of the person. The other topic of divorce was also interesting. Coming from my own experience my parents at one point separated but then got together. I was old enough to get what was going on but I don't think it affected me they way it could have.

Parenting

In our class discussion we talked about 3 types of parenting, authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive.    I'd heard about these different ways of parenting from my child development class but it was still interesting to hear about the class intake on these 3 different styles. When I took the the assessment online I got the authoritative style. When I was taking the test I realized that I was picking things my parents had done as they raised me. If I could teach my future kids the way my parents did I would die happy. I think my parents were really open with my brother and I but still have strict rules. We know better then to ever take advantage of our freedom and I always did everything to maintain their trust. When I did something wrong they never made me feel like I was a failure but they also didn't congratulate me on bad decisions. I was never one of those rebellious kids that would lie to their parents , I was always bluntly honest with how I felt which really shaped the kind of relationship my parents and I have now. I also liked how discussion on natural consequences because I think often we do not know how to tell those apart. When I think about parenting I always get scared because I want my kids to have the best parents ever, just like mine were :)

Fathers and Finances

I think our discussion on finances was helpful, the pamphlet is surely one of the best ways I've seen it explained. One of the things that stood out the most to me was the point made about the dual-income families. Although two incomes means more money it doesn't always play out that way. I guess I never really thought about it until I saw the numbers being drawn in class. Another interesting point was in the pamphlet which talked about self-disipline and self-restraint. I think this topic was interesting because it fits right into college. I think often when people get married they tend to live the lifestyle that their parents gave them and forget that things have changed. I think that in order to have a healthy home where finances are regulated there needs to be a means of self-discipline. Another topic we talked about in this until was fatherhood. Writing the fatherhood paper was interesting because I got to see how much research has been done on the importance of fatherhood. Looking back at my childhood my dad was always very constant in my life. I've seen how this had made a difference in my life and I am grateful that I have a supportive dad that helps me though everything. 

Communication & Mutual Problem Solving

Its crazy to think 51% of our communication are our non verbal cues. Only 14 % our are words. They way we communicate is crucial especailly with the advancement of technology. We are finding it a lot easier to communicate with people without actually being in the same room as them. This has caused a negative affect on our society because we don't take the time to actually say what we feel. Another thing I found interesting about our discussion is the way the brain reacts to thoughts. I think our thoughts are a lot powerful than we might realize. Because of this we often don't know what to say in certain situations. Thinking about my own life I've always been a problem solver. Whenever there was an argument in my family I would always be the one who brought back the peace. My family is a very talkative family so we've never had the issue of not communicating. On the other hand there are times when I get an arguments with my parents and I just decide to stop talking to them. I hope that with the things I've learned about this unit I will be able to apply it to my daily life.

The Family Under Stress

One of the things I thought was interesting in the class discussion was the ABC-X concept. The way we react to a certain experience within the family has a lot to do with how we react to the situation. For example, the letter A represented the actual event, before we evaluate the situation that is occurring we have to recognize what it is. Next we have B which represents behavioral responses. Behavioral responses are the specific things each of the family members do when a crisis happens. While some families may choose to come together and talk about things, others might ignore each other and handle it on their own. Lastly the C represents cognition. I think this is the most important factor when dealing with a crisis because what you think emotionally can totally change the situation. Thinking about to my family and the way we've handled family crisis's I can really see how these factors made the experience the way it did. For my family it has always been a strength builder because we've learned from our mistakes and our struggles. I don't imagine my family the way they are now without without thinking of the experiences we've had to go through.

Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

I can remember in almost every Young Women lesson we had on chastity, revolved around the lines "Just don't do it". For someone who has never been talked about sacredness of sexual intimacy this may cause some confussion. No one really talks about sexual intamcy after marriage, therefore I think this lesson opened up a lot of doors that many of us probably have not talked about. My parents always were open with me so I never considered this an awkward topic. I took psychology classes in high school so most of the things discussed in class were not new to me. On the other hand, it was interesting to see the gospel intake. It was amazing taking such a intimate subject and still keeping it sacred. When I have my own family I went to be open with my children as well. I don't want them hearing things at school without hearing what I have to say about it first. I think its important that kids hear it from their parents because then it became a topic that isn't awkward but just part of life.

Transitions in Marriage

Last week we talked about the transitions into marriage. Something that stuck out to me during the class discussions was the idea of the weeding vs. the marriage. I guess I never really thought about how the wedding could have such a profound affect on a marriage. Although this is not to say that if you don't have the biggest wedding you will not have a good marriage, but the planing of the wedding does tell a lot about the other person. Decision making is crucial. I think you can tell a lot about the person and the couple in the way the plan their wedding. When I think of my parents and what they told me about their wedding it totally makes sense. When they first got married (and say first because it wasn't in the temple..dad wasn't a member a the time. We eventually all got sealed in the temple years after. ANYWHO) they had your tradtional wedding ceremony, following a reception. They were a little older 25, 28 and they knew in order to have their wedding they had to pay it for themselves. My grandma was a widow by then and had 7 other children, 3 daughters, so paying for her wedding wasn't really a option. My parents told me they paid everything for their wedding. I can see this reflecting a lot with their marriage now, because they aren't very spontaneous people. Everything always has it time and its place and since I can remember it has always been that way. Its funny to see that connection because I always wondered if its something that sort of clicked when they got married.