Communication & Mutual Problem Solving

Its crazy to think 51% of our communication are our non verbal cues. Only 14 % our are words. They way we communicate is crucial especailly with the advancement of technology. We are finding it a lot easier to communicate with people without actually being in the same room as them. This has caused a negative affect on our society because we don't take the time to actually say what we feel. Another thing I found interesting about our discussion is the way the brain reacts to thoughts. I think our thoughts are a lot powerful than we might realize. Because of this we often don't know what to say in certain situations. Thinking about my own life I've always been a problem solver. Whenever there was an argument in my family I would always be the one who brought back the peace. My family is a very talkative family so we've never had the issue of not communicating. On the other hand there are times when I get an arguments with my parents and I just decide to stop talking to them. I hope that with the things I've learned about this unit I will be able to apply it to my daily life.

The Family Under Stress

One of the things I thought was interesting in the class discussion was the ABC-X concept. The way we react to a certain experience within the family has a lot to do with how we react to the situation. For example, the letter A represented the actual event, before we evaluate the situation that is occurring we have to recognize what it is. Next we have B which represents behavioral responses. Behavioral responses are the specific things each of the family members do when a crisis happens. While some families may choose to come together and talk about things, others might ignore each other and handle it on their own. Lastly the C represents cognition. I think this is the most important factor when dealing with a crisis because what you think emotionally can totally change the situation. Thinking about to my family and the way we've handled family crisis's I can really see how these factors made the experience the way it did. For my family it has always been a strength builder because we've learned from our mistakes and our struggles. I don't imagine my family the way they are now without without thinking of the experiences we've had to go through.

Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

I can remember in almost every Young Women lesson we had on chastity, revolved around the lines "Just don't do it". For someone who has never been talked about sacredness of sexual intimacy this may cause some confussion. No one really talks about sexual intamcy after marriage, therefore I think this lesson opened up a lot of doors that many of us probably have not talked about. My parents always were open with me so I never considered this an awkward topic. I took psychology classes in high school so most of the things discussed in class were not new to me. On the other hand, it was interesting to see the gospel intake. It was amazing taking such a intimate subject and still keeping it sacred. When I have my own family I went to be open with my children as well. I don't want them hearing things at school without hearing what I have to say about it first. I think its important that kids hear it from their parents because then it became a topic that isn't awkward but just part of life.

Transitions in Marriage

Last week we talked about the transitions into marriage. Something that stuck out to me during the class discussions was the idea of the weeding vs. the marriage. I guess I never really thought about how the wedding could have such a profound affect on a marriage. Although this is not to say that if you don't have the biggest wedding you will not have a good marriage, but the planing of the wedding does tell a lot about the other person. Decision making is crucial. I think you can tell a lot about the person and the couple in the way the plan their wedding. When I think of my parents and what they told me about their wedding it totally makes sense. When they first got married (and say first because it wasn't in the temple..dad wasn't a member a the time. We eventually all got sealed in the temple years after. ANYWHO) they had your tradtional wedding ceremony, following a reception. They were a little older 25, 28 and they knew in order to have their wedding they had to pay it for themselves. My grandma was a widow by then and had 7 other children, 3 daughters, so paying for her wedding wasn't really a option. My parents told me they paid everything for their wedding. I can see this reflecting a lot with their marriage now, because they aren't very spontaneous people. Everything always has it time and its place and since I can remember it has always been that way. Its funny to see that connection because I always wondered if its something that sort of clicked when they got married. 

Preparing for Marriage

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres"

Last week we talked about preparing for marriage in the chapter, "falling in love" I thought it was interesting to read about the different types of love in the greek language, apage,eros, storage, and phillia. In class we were asked, which of those love is correct? I think everyone came to a consent that not one of those words were the right kind of love by itself, rather it was a combination of all of them. Although this is true, I also think love is different for everyone. Love can mean different things that is why we fall for different people. Love can mean something different at different times, that is why we fall for different people. How much easier would it be if we hard a different word for each different kind of love in English? I think there is a reason why we just have the word love. Love is complex, but at times it can also be simple. I think if we had different words for love we could not grasp the whole meaning of the word. I think love has different aspect, like the  quote above is talking about it. Just like when we are dating we are searching for different traits of a person, when you fall in love there is different attributes.

Gender and Family Life

Last week, we learned about gender and its affects on family life. I thought it was an interesting unit because in my family foundations class, we talked and memorized the second section of the proclamation which states, "All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." It was cool seeing the connections between the two because I was able to connect what we were learning in class to the gospel. Something that really stood out to me was the talks and videos on same sex marriage. As a member of the church I always felt that I didn't have a good understanding where the church stood. I knew marriage was between man and women, but I didn't know how to explain same sex attraction in a affective and appropriate way. The scenarios during class helped understand what do when faced with a friend or a family member who may be having these feelings. I think we are often misinformed, therefore the class discussions really changed the way I looked at things. I gained a better testimony of the sacredness of marriage and how important gender roles are to the fathers plan of happiness. 

Social Class & Cultural Diversity

The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word class is education. I never thought of class by rankings or maybe I have, but not to the extreme. I thought the videos were a bit extreme, but what was more disturbing, was that some of them were actually realistic. It was interesting to see what attributes we all picked for the "ideal class" in the class discussion, and even more interesting to see how for a lot of us it was sort of confusing which class the attributes were coming from. I think as much as we don't like to admit, class does define the kind of people we are. To society class is necessary because it is one of the ways to set the population apart. If we were all in the same class then how would we know the people to  hang out with? Now this isn't my personal opinion but from what i've seen I think it is what a lot of people feel. Now onto diversity..well cultural diversity to more specific, I thought it was cool to see some of the cultural patterns between the different cultures. I hate being the person (well since i'm hispanic blah blah) but being that I do come from a predominant hispanic culture it was interesting to read some of the patterns that were out there. For the most part, they were pretty accurate.